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Living Madly: Making Life “Easier” Won’t Make You Happier

View from the summit of South Twin, White Mountains, New Hampshire, November 2024. Photo by Emilie-Noelle Provost

Living Madly: Making Life “Easier” Won’t Make You Happier

By Emilie-Noelle Provost

Life can be a grind. Working, meal planning, cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, paying bills—all of it wears me out sometimes.

Even doing activities I enjoy often requires a fair amount of effort and planning.

Hiking in the White Mountains, for example, is one of my favorite things to do. But hiking safely takes a lot of work. The day before a hike, I check weather reports repeatedly so I can pack and organize my backpack accordingly. I make lightweight, nutritious meals and snacks that won’t go bad on the trail. I make sure I have an adequate amount of water, rain gear, sunscreen, bug spray, an extra change of clothes, a first-aid kit, a headlamp. The list of essentials is long. On top of all that, I often have to be up and on the road by six a.m. in order to give myself enough daylight hours to complete whatever hike I’m hoping to do.

Sometimes, all this effort feels like too much. There are days that I just want to sleep in, relax, and not do anything strenuous or that requires too much thought.

Once in a while, this is OK. Everyone needs to rest at times. But I’ve discovered that there’s a limit to the amount sleeping in I can do before I start feeling restless and bored, even kind of depressed. When I pull myself together and get back on the trail, I always feel much better. I feel happy, much happier than if I hadn’t done a bunch of planning and packing and driving and dragged myself out of bed at the crack of dawn to climb a 4,000-foot-tall pile of rocks.

This led me to wonder about the connection between happiness and effort. And as it turns out, being happy requires us to get off of our butts.

Not everything you do that involves work makes you happy, of course. But putting effort into things that have been proven to make people’s lives richer and more meaningful, such as maintaining close friendships, pursing hobbies, volunteering, or achieving a personal goal, will almost always make you happier than sitting on the couch binge-watching old episodes of Downtown Abbey will (not that there’s anything wrong with Downton Abbey).

According to a recent Upworthy.com article, people are happiest when they avoid the urge to seek relaxation and instead make an effort to get out of their comfort zones. Tod Perry, the article’s author, cites a 1980s study conducted by Hungarian-American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, which determined that people are happiest when they are engaged in “optimal experiences.”

An optimal experience, according to Csikszentmihalyi, is one that requires all of one’s mental concentration and physical effort. Like hiking, for example. Other optimal activities mentioned by Csikszentmihalyi include playing basketball, learning to play a musical instrument, practicing yoga, and enjoying dinner with close friends.

By contrast, Csikszentmihalyi says that excess comfort often results in feelings of boredom, anxiety, guilt, or uselessness, and can eventually lead to depression and even substance abuse and eating disorders.

This is because evolution wired our brains to seek out and learn from new experiences. Visiting new places, meeting new people, and learning new skills all make us happy because they keep our brains active and healthy. These things also help us form new memories, help keep us motivated, make us more mentally and emotionally flexible, and add to our personal libraries of skills and knowledge—all things that make us feel good.

I think Yvon Chouinard, Maine native, rock climber, and founder of Patagonia, summed it up well when he said, “I’ve found the cure for depression is action.”

So, the next time you’re feeling lazy or burned out and are tempted to spend the afternoon on the couch, resist the urge and find something else to do: Call a friend, pick up a book, go for a hike. It might feel like work at first, but you’ll be much happier for it.

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Émilie-Noëlle Provost is the author of The River Is Everywhere, a National Indie Excellence Award, American Fiction Award, and American Legacy Award finalist, and The Blue Bottle, a middle-grade adventure with sea monsters. Visit her at emilienoelleprovost.com.

Seen & Heard: Vol. 24

Visited: Boott Cotton Mills Museum – With out of town guests expressing interest in Lowell’s history, we all headed to the Boott Cotton Mills Museum this week. Admission is $6 for adults and $4 for seniors. A demonstration in the weave room takes place every 30 minutes and lasts for 15. An NPS person explains how the looms worked then they start up a dozen of them so you can see them in action. When this museum first opened in the late 1980s, all 80 looms in the weave room ran simultaneously. The concept was that if you saw one in operation, you’d see how a loom worked, but if you stood in a room with 80 looms running, you’d have a better feel for the experience of the workers. I can attest to that. With all running, the noise and vibration were very powerful and imaging dealing with that all day made a strong impression. The exhibits on the second floor came next. I always find something interesting that I missed on prior trips (or they rotate the artifacts on display). Under a portrait of Daniel Webster, the wall text explained that in 1820, the US government established something called the “Spanish Claims Commission” and funded it with $5 million. This was a mechanism for ship owners who  lost vessels or cargo to Spanish pirates. Webster represented many Boston Merchants before the commission and won more than $1 million of the $6 million total for his clients, some of whom used the money to fund a textile mill in Waltham and then the early mills in Lowell. I was looking forward to seeing the NPS film on Lowell but the theater was roped off. Blocking the entrance was a sign that read in part, “Please let us know (with a link to a website) if you have identified any signs or other information that are negative about either past or living Americans or that fail to emphasize the beauty, grandeur, and abundance of landscapes and other natural features.”

YouTube: Spurs at Knicks Game 4 Highlights – I confess. I’m a closet New York Knicks fan. I would always prefer the Celtics but once they are out of the picture, I like the Knicks. That might go back to the early 1970s when they twice won the NBA championship with Willis Reed, Walt Frazier, Bill Bradley, Dave DeBusschere and others. That team crushed my spirits in one of those playoffs by defeating the Celtics in the Eastern Conference finals, but that was mostly because Celtics legend John Havlicek injured his shoulder and had to play one handed. Scrapiness seems like an overused word but it fit those Knicks teams. Fast forward to this iteration, last year I watched more live NBA than I do now (which is basically none due to other priorities) and really liked the present team. That could be influenced by three Knicks starters being Villanova graduates and my fondness for that school dates back to its entry into Big East Basketball in 1980, my first year at Providence College which was a founding team in that conference when it was born the year before. Also, I really like cities and resent how many Americans trash urban living. NYC is always the star of both sides of that show, and I feel defensive about the place and want it to succeed. (The Yankees and Mets are fine, I’m ambivalent about the Rangers, and am happy to see the Giants and Jets flounder in their current manifestations). As much as I want the Knicks to win the championship, I didn’t mind them losing game three, mostly for tangential reasons (i.e., a certain VIP who attended the game). In Game 4, the Knicks were down by as much as 29 at some point, but San Antonio kept tossing up 3-point shots and, as the Celtics showed us, teams that live by the 3 pointer also die by the 3 pointer when they don’t go in. The frequent misses gave the Knicks just enough time to close that big gap. A last second Knick shot bounced out of the rim, seeking to save the Spurs from ignominious defeat, but a Knicks player timed his jump perfectly and delicately tipped the ball in the basket with 1.8 seconds to go, sealing an historic come from behind victory for New York. 

Newspaper: “It’s doubtful Boston will enjoy hosting” by Dan Shaughnessy, Boston Globe, June 11, 2026. I wanted to include something about the World Cup, which in the past I’ve really enjoyed, but somehow this year when it’s right here in this hemisphere with games being played here in the Commonwealth, I find myself not that interested. Consequently, Shaughnessy’s standard cynical take fits the zeitgeist of the moment. He accurately observes that despite hundreds of thousands of US young people growing up playing soccer – something he finds praiseworthy because of the egalitarianist nature of youth soccer – that has never translated into “ticket-buying fandoms” which is true. The New England Revolution team has played here for 30 years but we’ve never followed that team with anywhere the intensity we grant the Celtics, Bruins, Red Sox and Patriots. As Shaughnessy put it, “Sadly, our reaction to the World Cup runs the gamut from annoyance to apathy.” Personally, I’m perplexed by my current attitude. Four years ago, I paid close attention to the World Cup and watched several matches in the entirety. I discovered that to enjoy soccer, you must watch all of it. With other sports, you can be reading or scrolling through your phone while the action unscrolls. If something big happens, you hear the cheers and are assured you’ll see a reply and commentary in an instant. But soccer doesn’t stop so there are few replays. Plus, soccer will be very boring with nothing happening for long stretches of a time and then in an instant, something incredibly interesting and exciting happens but it’s over in a flash. If you haven’t been watching all along, you miss all the context which adds real value to the high points. At least that’s my take. Maybe I’m just at a point in my life where I’m not that into sports. I won’t get into the reasons for that other than to say there is so much else I’d rather be doing, live sports has faded away from my areas of interest.

Newspaper: “Freedom Trail, at 75” by Ariela Lopez, Boston Globe, June 11, 2026. The Freedom Trail, a red bricked path that connects 16 colonial-era historic sites in Boston, was dedicated on June 11, 1951. Originally, signs on street corners guided visitors along the Trail. In 1958, the city painted a red path on the sidewalk as a guide. In the 1990s, the painted line was replaced by embedded red bricks which is how it stands today. More than 4 million people travel the Freedom Trail each year. Personally, between my own immersion in local history and Google maps on my phone, it’s been a long time since I even noticed the red brick trail despite being on and near the Trail with some frequency. But tourists seem to love the ease of navigation that it affords. Reading this article brought to mind a push in Lowell several years ago to create a similar line on downtown sidewalks that would guide visitors around the many historic sites in the city, especially the route from the National Park Visitor Center on Market Street to the Boott Cotton Mills museum on John Street. Those of us who live here know the route well, but it’s not as intuitive for an out-of-town visitor and the little confidence boost that would come from a visual trail to follow might mean the difference between a visitor limiting their stay to Market Street and not experiencing or seeing all the other things the city has to offer.

“Les Bleus” in Boston

Les Bleus in Boston

By Louise Peloquin

      Excitement is in the air as the World Cup kicked off on June 11^th giving the word “football” a whole new meaning in America.

Our very basic soccer expertise excludes valid sport commentaries or prognoses on the 2026 World Cup. Nonetheless, since Les Bleus, the French team, chose “The Hub” as its headquarters, our curiosity about the world’s most popular sport pushed us to scour dispatches for a behind-the-scenes peek at Gallic logistics.

On Wednesday June 1oth, over a hundred supporters warmly welcomed Les Bleus to Boston’s Four Seasons Hotel. Players like Ousmane Dembélé did not shirk from selfies with fans and star Kylian Mbappé (1) thrilled the crowd pressing around him  to catch a glimpse his flashing smile.

Team intendant (steward) since 2021, Johan Perez shared interesting details about the Boston sojourn.

“It took two to three weeks for our airfreighted equipment to pass through Boston. Each and every trunk, each and every piece of material was declared ahead of time in order to facilitate customs clearing. For a competition like the World Cup,” he added, “we also prepare sports apparel for traveling and unlabeled items because only FIFA-sponsored clothes are allowed before kickoff. I sent two tons of material to Boston for the World Cup!”

Each French player has three sets of jerseys which means 78 shirts per match. Perez stocked all of the equipment in a large room on the second floor of the Four Seasons.

“I have another room nearby, la salle de flocage. It’s got the machines for printing the team logo on our shirts and all those shirts. That way, nothing gets mixed up. Then there’s a room for socks and the non-sponsor-labeled items. I also have extra jerseys. And if ever a shoe is soiled with a coffee stain, I can replace it. We also have additional footballs, just in case.”

Johan Perez continues, “it is an organized mess because I know my equipment by heart. We have a lot of clothes and shoes and I can understand how someone can enter into these rooms and say ‘wow, there’s stuff everywhere!’ There are many boxes and trunks but I know exactly where every item is stored.”

It is interesting to note that two other full-time intendants work with a representative of Nike, the French team’s main sponsor which has a 100-million-euro-a-year contract until 2034. That’s approximately 115.23 million US dollars. The result is, as Perez said, “Nothing is ever missing because we always have everything. We always have extras in case an item is torn for example. We prepare accordingly.”

Then there’s the room where Les Bleus will have meals specially prepared by chef Xavier Rousseau assisted by Four Seasons chef, French compatriot Patrick Martineau. Rousseau particularly appreciates the fact that Martineau “is based here, knows all about the local products and will therefore provide counsel on creating menus with them.”

These menus will be classic ones to meet the players’ energy needs. Rousseau listed for example, “crudités (raw vegetables), two starches, meat, fish, a dessert buffet, fruit and a little panna cotta, all light choices.”

Sharing meals are moments of conviviality and times when players express their individual tastes. Rousseau, Les Bleus chef since 2017, said, “I am lucky enough to have the players’ trust. I listen to what they have to say and, from time to time, comments are negative, like ‘we would like something else.’ I remember one player who wanted roasted sweet potato. That happened one or two times. And so one day, the day before a match, I decided to serve it to everyone.”

Before or after meals, Kylian Mbappé and his teammates get massages given by expert physiotherapists like Guillaume Vassout who has worked for the French team for ten years and holds a very important role in the players’ physical preparation. One of the main objectives is facilitating recuperation with core training. Balneotherapy and cold baths are also included.

Then come the fitness room workouts. “Our job is to correct bad form,” explains Vassout. “These are very high-level players who have their own habits and know their own bodies better than we do. We accompany them. We’re not there to revolutionize their workout habits but rather to bring what suits them best.” (2)
Healthy eating and good sleep are vital for the French team as it enters into the World Cup competition with its match against Senegal on June 16th at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.

Les Bleus are on a quest to win their 3^rd World Cup star. The first was in 1998 and the second in 2018. Some sports commentators think they’ve got a chance to reach it. We’ll find out on July 19^th.

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1. For a photo of Kylian Mbappé being comforted by Emmanuel Macron, President of the Republic after Les Bleus lost the 2022 World Cup to Argentina, see the photo below from: https://richardhowe.com/2022/12/18/world-cup-grande-tristesse-grande-fierte/
2. Translations of French dispatches by Louise Peloquin.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52572162460_3db5384949_w.jpg

Inability to communicate: the worst kind of loneliness? by Marjorie Arons-Barron

The entry below is being cross posted from  Marjorie Arons-Barron’s own blog.

The Things We Never Say by Elizabeth Strout is the ninth book I have read by Strout. She raises many classic Strout themes: the lives of seemingly ordinary people, how people deal with each other and with their own feelings, the unmet need for intimacy. Many of her stories – think Olive Kitteridge – have been set in the fictional small town of Crosby, Maine. Her most recent book, Tell Me Everything, was also set there, and, as I wrote two years ago, it was a journey back to Crosby I didn’t need to make.

In her newest book, published May 6^th, Strout has moved on.  The Things We Never Say is set in a small town on the North Shore of Massachusetts. More important than geography, however, is the complexity of her characters and the depth of her emotional portrayals. This may be her best book ever. Her principal character, Artie Dam, a 57-year-old high school teacher, is complicated and nuanced, and Strout’s weaving of his life with those of his family, his students, his community, – his past and his future – is artful, seamless and brilliant.

Artie is a gifted educator, teaching his students academic subjects and also helping them mature in their personal relationships. He fights for students who are bullied and encourages those unsure of their own capacities. Yet he can’t get through to those he cares most about, including his adult son who has suffered emotional trauma. Sensing his wife becoming more remote, Artie resents her apparent ignorance of his deep sensitivities and lack of empathy.  Loneliness, Strout writes, is not about being alone but about not being able to communicate one’s inner truths and secrets.

And secrets there are. One, for Artie, is that he has been contemplating suicide – until a boating accident that revealed to him that he did not really want to die. (Since readers learn this at the very beginning, I do not consider this a spoiler.)

Halfway through the book, Artie discovers a shocking secret that affects him, his wife, his son and another couple who had been friends. How this plays out drives the narrative.

Artie who has come to accept what fate has in store for him.   (As Mainers might say in many of Strout’s books, “Okay then.”) But the theme of suicide returns. He contemplates today’s political landscape and says the country is committing suicide. I confess I found Artie’s recounting of Trump’s flaws and misdeeds jarring, even a distraction. But Strout’s characters are pitch perfect. Her imagery is evocative, and her craftsmanship is elegant.  There’s an energy I didn’t find in her last book, and  it’s hard to imagine that her next one can surpass this one.