“How to forgive” – (PIP #89)

By Louise Peloquin

     Tucked in the local news columns, L’Etoile occasionally slipped unusual pieces inviting readers to introspection.

 L’Etoile – January 6, 1926

 HOW TO FORGIVE

      We believe we have made a marvelous moral effort when we have not caused our neighbor any harm and we think that such behavior is akin to perfection.

      However, our duty is not limited to avoiding harming. It must also include learning to forgive the harm done to us, and this is difficult.

      When we are gentle, patient, helpful, caring, we cannot admit that others may not behave likewise. Bad-mouthing and meanness revolt us. We stand against those who exploit us, mistreat us and try to destroy us. Our soul allows itself to be overwhelmed by anger and we consider that our animosity is still quite moderate because it does not turn into retaliation.

      By admitting that all of our complaints are founded and that the one we are complaining about actually behaved like an enemy, must we hate them? Does the hate fueled against them have the power to give back the slightest bit of what was snatched? No, you know it well. Far from restoring anything, this lowly sentiment, which fills us with fratricidal passion, only extinguishes serenity and peace. It exacerbates our initial chagrin and prolongs distress.

      Our indiscriminate self-love is what makes our wounds so cruel. We cannot support anyone saying something unpleasant about us. We only accept praise, even clearly unjustified. We do not accept to lose the least of our advantages. We hold onto everything and, ceaselessly, we want to acquire more. We seek glory and widespread esteem.

      These pretences stir up our fury. We believe we are honorable and, in reality, we are vindictive and hostile. The wrong committed by the person who stole part of our possessions, our reputation, our prestige is, in our eyes, such a huge crime that it could not possibly be punished severely enough. Our hate greatly threatens to turn into aggressive behvior, as blameable as that endured.

      This is a new disadvantage for us. To the list of wrongs caused by our enemy is added an even greater one since we have become as fiendish as our foe. In other words, the injustice that we were not able to accept tends to belittle us morally and to make us base.

      Taking everything into consideration, we must not allow hate, that pernicious leaven, to rise within us because the disasters caused can become boundless. (1)

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1) Translation by Louise Peloquin.